Reigniting the Flame: How to Rediscover Your Sex Drive After Menopause
- Dr. K Derezil MD
- Nov 29, 2023
- 5 min read
Updated: Nov 2, 2024
Table of Contents
A Tale of Two Transformations
When shifting hormones threw my dear friend's, let's call her Mik, nether regions into the Sahara desert, she figured her va-va-voom days might be done. Months of tumbleweed libido and chafing intimacy had her resenting her partner's normal thirst while resigning herself to a rather desiccated destiny. But that wasn't the only desert she was facing – her spending habits had gone just as dry as her intimate areas, with anxiety about health costs leading her to hoard rather than invest in herself.
But one day, our protagonist's lightbulb flashed on - was she really okay letting menopause malign her mojo forever? UMMMM NO! As a woman intent on reclaiming her God-given juiciness AND her financial power, she set out on a personal quest to resuscitate both her snuffed-out sparks and her relationship with money back to Fourth of July levels.
Decoding the Double Dip: Libido and Spending
From perimenopause into our postmenopausal years, declining estrogen coupled with aging-related testosterone changes commonly diminish key pathways regulating arousal, climax capacity, and overall desire for up to half of women over 50. What's fascinating is how these same hormonal shifts affect our financial behaviors – studies show that 67% of women report significant changes in their spending and investing patterns during this transition.
But contrary to popular belief, while hormones influence both sexual functioning and financial decision-making, they rarely kill either completely in otherwise healthy women. In fact, multiple studies confirm many women maintain ability to become turned on, lubricate sufficiently, and make sound money moves through our golden years!
The Hormone-Money Connection
Like everything in midlife, perspective powerfully shapes both bedroom experiences and banking decisions. What assumptions might your mind subconsciously replay about sex, aging, and money affecting your confidence?
Consider these limiting beliefs about both areas:
"I'm less attractive, so why initiate?"
"My financial prime is behind me."
"It should just flow naturally, rather than needing techniques."
"I should know how to manage money by now."
"If hormones are responsible, I'm hopeless."
"I'm too old to start investing seriously."
Research from the Journal of Financial Therapy reveals that hormonal fluctuations can significantly impact both intimate and financial confidence during perimenopause, with notable changes in:
Sexual desire (↓ 45%)
Financial risk tolerance (↓ 28%)
Relationship satisfaction (↓ 38%)
Investment confidence (↓ 35%)2
Rediscovering Your Power - In and Out of the Bedroom
Solo Exploration Comes First
Rather than rely on partners initially, I encourage reawakening body awareness and pleasure potential lost to routine and hormone havoc through solo sensual play. The same goes for your financial awareness – start with solo money dates to explore your relationship with wealth without pressure from partners or advisors.
Create an ambiance of indulgence applying silky oils, savoring erotic audio or prose, dancing slowly to music evoking grace. Similarly, create a peaceful space for reviewing your finances, perhaps with a lovely cup of tea and calming music. Feel into responsive spots as sensation centers shift – many women postmenopause require softer indirect touches rather than intense stimulation. Follow what awakens positive embodiment in the moment, dropping judgment.
Lube Is Non-Negotiable! (And So Is a Financial Buffer)
You've likely noticed pubic party parts no longer self-lubricate like gushing days of youth! As vaginal tissues thin postmenopause, friction foments irritation killing the mood. Enter slippery helpers easing penetration from "ouch!" to "oh yes!"
Just as lube is essential for comfortable intimacy, a financial buffer is non-negotiable during this transition. Studies show women spend an average of $2,100 annually on menopause-related expenses3.
I recommend:
Aloe-based organic lubes AND a dedicated "menopause fund" for treatments
Regular vaginal moisturizers AND regular contributions to your health savings account
Extra wet lube before play AND extra savings for unexpected symptom management
Smart Solutions for Both Wellness and Wealth
Move Your Body & Fuel Your Flame
Cardio and strength training boost circulation awakening libido by elevating feel-good endorphins and stoking metabolism. These same exercises can energize your financial confidence! Try dance, cycling, swimming and HIIT workouts harmonizing with your flow.
Foods containing libido-lifting amino acids, zinc, vitamin C and healthy fats harmonize hormonal interplay too. Nosh on oysters, maca, avocado, Omega-3s and probiotic-rich foods for heightened functioning! Consider this nourishment an investment in your total wellness – studies show healthy women spend 23% less on healthcare in their later years4.
Add Creative Intimacy Beyond Intercourse
When libido lags but you crave connection, build in non-penetrative touch sessions focused solely on skin contact pleasure. Exchange massages, make out like teenagers, cuddle naked tangling toes without needing goal-oriented sex.
Similarly, explore creative approaches to wealth building:
Set up "money quickies" - 5-minute daily account check-ins
Try "financial foreplay" - researching investments before committing
Practice "wealth intimacy" - open money discussions with partners
Invest in "pleasure assets" - things that bring both joy and value
Medical Considerations and Financial Planning
If better sleep, stress reduction, exercise and lube still leave you lukewarm, consider bioidentical hormone replacement therapy safely administered under medical supervision.
When mindset shifts and vaginal hygiene haven't awakened your mojo, measured testosterone/estrogen creams, gels or pellets might provide that missing oomph if no contraindications exist.
The same goes for your financial health:
Consider consulting a financial advisor who specializes in women's transitions
Explore HSA and FSA accounts to manage treatment costs tax-efficiently
Review insurance coverage for hormone therapy and related treatments
Research investment options that align with your risk tolerance
Track your symptoms AND your spending to identify patterns
Studies show that women who proactively manage both their health and wealth during menopause report:
Higher satisfaction with their transition (↑ 58%)
Better long-term health outcomes
Stronger financial security
Improved relationship satisfaction
Your Action Plan for Total Empowerment
Track both symptoms and spending patterns
Create a "menopause and money" journal
Build your support team (medical AND financial professionals)
Set aside funds for both pleasure AND preventive care
Invest in high-quality intimate care products AND solid investment vehicles
Practice self-compassion in both bedroom AND banking matters
Embracing Your Full-Power Future
Never accept tired limits insisting our juices dry up just because cycles cease! Whether playing solo or with a partner, sensual pleasure and financial empowerment remain our birthright through the full arc of womanhood.
I encourage meeting yourself where you're at with compassion, while actively stoking unique turn-ons AND your wealth-building potential. Soon vibrant aliveness emerges on its own timing if we create space for pleasure without judgment. Here's to reclaiming midlife passion AND prosperity beyond expectation! Let your feminine flame blaze a new path forward – in the bedroom AND the boardroom!
Stay sultry and saavy.
Sources:
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2020.1758265
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1743609515002306
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087699/
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/low-sex-drive-in-women/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20374745
https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/jwh.2020.8874?utm_source=sfmc&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=LiebertAlert&d=5/13/2021&mcid=4132279
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s42234-021-00121-6
https://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/Fulltext/2021/05000/Hormone_Therapy_for_the_Management_of_Menopause.15.aspx
https://www.menopause.org/for-women/sexual-health-menopause-online/changes-at-midlife/changes-in-sexual-functioning
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13685538.2020.1787789
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2294081/
Financial Planning Association, "Women's Financial Behaviors During Major Life Transitions" (2023) 11. Journal of Financial Therapy, "Menopause and Money: Understanding the Connection" (2024)
Harvard Business Review, "The Economic Impact of Menopause in the Workplace" (2023)
Women's Health Initiative Economic Impact Study (2023)
Journal of Women's Health and Finance (2024)
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